The struggle within

There is a beast inside me waiting for the chance to show itself. The beast and I are like two sides of a coin; completely different from each other, yet the same. It lives inside me alongside my soul. My soul manages to intimidate the beast but it seems that it is taking over my soul bit by bit.

There used to be a time when I had a shimmering soul; one could even mistake it for gold. However, now it is different. A part of the beast seeped into my soul and it is turning my pure soul into the colour black. Diffusing into it; I picture it the same way water behaves when a drop of colour is added into it.

When did the beast got loose? How did it manage to grab my soul? Why did I let it do so? Questions that I am unable to answer. I am waiting, desperately waiting for the day when my soul manages to daunt the beast but I can’t find a single ray of light.Is it possible I have become blind? Or is it the beast that has made me blind?

I fear the day when my loved ones will refuse to see me because of this beast.But don’t we all have beasts inside us? It is impossible to control the beasts inside us.This is the beast that provokes you to think terrible thoughts; lets you dream of your death; smiles when you reach for the blade. I wonder why everyone pretends that there is no such thing as the beast.

I picture myself sitting in a dark room slowly becoming a part of the darkness as I let go and allow the beast to take over me for I have realised how cruel this world is and that the beast is what I really am. The beast and my soul are one. This would be the end of me.

 

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2 thoughts on “The struggle within

  1. The beast, I think that it exists and it is indeed a part of us, but to really think about it, it’s not a bad part of our life and it’s not depressing or anything like that, we just made things up, we humans, when we can’t explain things, we just start comparing those things to tragedies, coincedences or let our fear control that feeling, but the truth is that the beast exists, and it does in every single person, the only difference is that how we control it and how it controls us; yeah indeed we can control it. I see it as a good thing, I mean that would kinda shock some people, but the beast is actually a good thing from my pov, see it as something bad or sadness, for i.e, Would we ever know what happiness is without knowing what sadness is? I mean how would you distinguish what difference there is between sadness and happiness if you didn’t get to experience one of them, the real thing is that without bad we wouldn’t know what good is so we have to accept that we have that beast inside us, the bad part of us, he is no monster or anything, it is just a reflection of that amount of pain and anger that we suffer in our daily lives, it is a part of us and sometimes you have to be that beast so it can stop trying to take over you as a whole person, we have to try bad so that we realise thaf bad isn’t worth it and we should stay at our good side, bad is a part of life and the sooner people accept it the easier life would be for them. And yeahh I lovedd this so much made me feel great seeing someone with such a beautiful and positive kind of perspective of life and not have the YOLO perspective and that is amazing.

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